If you have never participated in our Fatherhood Classes, please take the time to view this video and learn a little about what we do. We currently work with the Fatherhood Initiative at the Monroe County Department of Mental Human Services but we also travel for speaking engagements to places currently in the Monroe county and surrounding rural areas in Monroe County and hold Fatherhood Groups. This video includes a few fathers, and also my Son, Reggie Cox, who helps lead the fatherhood groups with me. please ask us to come out and speak by connecting with us at thefatherhoodconnection@gmail.com. Thank you.
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“The best journey answers questions that, in the beginning, you didn’t even think to ask.” ~ Jeff Johnson
Decision-making as a Father can be one of life’s biggest challenges. Here, we determine in this video the role our dads played in our lives and how sometimes this gap, or the way we were raised can sometimes come from what we learned or did not learn as a child. Corbyn Tyson, a filmmaker, talks to his dad and explains his role and how he wasn’t always the best kid growing up and the morals he learned as a dad.
All of us are affected by our father. Maybe he wasn’t there at all, maybe he lived with you, but you didn’t see him too much.
What did your parents do right and what did they do wrong?
Filmmaker Corbyn Tyson explores what it means to be a positive influence in the life of a kid and becomes introspective with his own father. This is a series that looks at what it means to be a father today and the role our dads played in our lives.
Reflect for a moment and consider….
Was your father in your life? How did his presence affect you? Or maybe his lack of presence in your life impacted you in some way, as well.
If so, how? And who stood in the gap for his absence?Were there other men? Were there mentors for you as a man, even today in life after 25 or 30 years of age?
Are you trying to change this pattern and STILL struggle today, as a result?
Like Corbyn, ask yourself: How do you read your compass?
Are you considering what you do right or… what you do wrong? Do you ask questions or seek our help, perhaps you should.
These are the thing we talk about in groups and talking about them in The Fatherhood Connection helps us to be better fathers.
In the movie, Big Daddy, Adam Sandler plays a dad in this movie called “Big daddy”. He tells his father and the judge why he deserves custody and he really is a “good father”. He really defeats fear… and says: “Don’t be scared.” The things we do for our kids as fathers, must not be done in fear.
Apparently his words have an impact, and we love this clip, and thought you would too.
What Makes a Good Father?
By: Shawn Donovan
Anyone can have children, but not anyone can be a father. So before you claim that “World’s Greatest Dad” mug, take a look at some of the criteria that illustrate how to be a good father.
Sharing time. You can’t be a father if you’re not around, let alone try to be a good father. Spending time with your children and being involved in their lives is imperative to being a good dad. You only get a few years to make a lifelong impression on your child. Don’t miss those moments because work or other interests seem more important.
Being a role model. As their father, your children naturally look up to you. They think of you as their superhero. While you may not be able to leap over buildings in a single bound, children are equally impressed by the simple things you do. Children will emulate your behavior. If you’re rude to a waitress, they’ll think it’s okay to be rude to waitresses. If you treat others with honesty and respect, your kids will do the same. It’s important that you lead by example, not by, “Do as I say, not what I do.” Always be mindful of what your children see, because you’ll see the same behavior down the road.
Being honest. How are you going to expect honesty from your children if you’re not honest with them? When your kids ask tough questions, you need to respond with open, but age-appropriate, answers. You may not want to talk about smoking pot in college or how you ran up a huge credit card debt, but you’re not doing your kids any favors if you lie to them. Tell them the truth and tell them what you learned from the experience. Tell your kids what you did wrong, and you may keep them from making the same mistakes.
Be loving, yet stern. It’s important that your children feel loved. That goes without question. But a father should never be a child’s friend. Loving your children means grounding them, withholding allowance when chores aren’t finished and saying no to things they really want. You are the authority figure in their life. If you’re too much of a pushover, your children will grow up lacking discipline. On the other hand, if you push them too hard, they may end up resenting you. A good father should know how to straddle this delicate line.
Resource: www.wingclips.com
As you can see, I am very serious about what I speak, so excuse my expressions, but please hear the message!
Two more styles are: the Authoritarian and the Permissive Styles of Parenting
Authoritarian tends to be:
Fear-Based Parenting
Parent is Demanding
Parent is Resistant
Permissive tends to be:
Parent Wants to be ‘Friend’ vs. Disciplinarian
Parent Desires Child to Feel Comfortable
Child/Youth Has NO Accountability
As a parent, learning to lead with authority can be ideal if done respectfully, and holding the child or youth up in honor of who they are as a person. A parent must have strong refusal skills and the child adjusts and adapts in response when the parent is able to communicate effectively and respectively.
We are our Brother’s keeper! Ask Nathan McCall. He has a great book out called makes Me Wanna Holler: A Young Man Black in America. It will make you understand several plights of the African American Male. Examining the complexities of the problems of black youths from an insider’s perspective, an African-American journalist recalls his own troubled childhood, his rehabilitation while in prison, and his successful Washington Post career.
Nathan McCall is an African-American author who grew up in the Cavalier Manor section of Portsmouth, Virginia.
As the stepson of a Navy man, McCall also grew up in various locations, such as Morocco and Norfolk, Virginia. After serving three years in prison, he studied journalism at Norfolk State University. He reported for the Virginian Pilot-Ledger Star and the Atlanta Journal-Constitution before moving to The Washington Post In 1989. He has dedicated his career to improving race relations in the United States.
In his first book, Makes Me Wanna Holler, McCall provides a detailed story of his life and the hardships he experienced growing up with racial profiling, class differences and peer pressure.
His second book, What’s Going On, used personal essays to discuss some larger issues such as social, cultural, and political tensions that affect the modern day United States.
After the success of his books, McCall was in demand as a speaker. He left The Washington Post for the lecture circuit. Today he continues to write, and holds the post of lecturer in the Department of African-American Studies at Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia.
His first novel Them: A Novel, dealing with issues of gentrification in an Atlanta neighborhood, was published in 2007. Them tells the story of Barlowe Reed, a single, forty-something African-American man, who has to come to terms with the gentrification of his neighborhood, in particular the influx of white people to the area.
Find out more about Nathan at http://www.nathanmccall.net
Source: wikipedia
