REG AND REG  This article is by my sister, Jennifer R. Owens – she  writes  on her blog at Life of JennRene and she  does a really  good job writing, is a writing coach, and  a social worker in the field who has worked with lots of families. Sometimes I  share with her I wish she were here, in Rochester, N.Y so we could work together. One of the best things I have witnessed in my lifetime  and  in my   family is my brother and my nephew, Reg & Reg – working together in the field  of  counseling and advice for men and fathers. I had a chance last year when I visited Rochester, to sit in one of their fatherhood  groups. I had never  witnessed them working together, and I tell you … it was amazing to see and hear their input, firsthand. It’s funny, I have to tell you, I never thought my nephew (Lil Reg – we call ’em) – would go into the field of social work or counseling of men.  I just thought “football” would forever be his life!   Reg LOVES football more than anything else, so when he spoke about  goals  and pursuing them in life, I never heard him even slightly talk about  doing this kind of work. One of the things I have been to my brother Reg, and I am sure he won’t mind I say this, is a “sister coach” of sorts, I have always  mentioned  to him, when things were not so  positive in the past with his kids – to “keep reaching out”…  and I and delighted to say, Reg has done just that. As he  works on his business with The Fatherhood Connection, I see  the program growing and helping men find broken pieces of their lives and find understanding.  I love most of all, they find ANSWERS.

I am the creative mind behind Reggie’s blog  and help him with social media, and  last year when I was home in Rochester, I spent time in a group for the men.  I was in the audience on the floor, videotaping and… my brother putting me on the spot. He asked the impact that having  a father who was an alcoholic in my life growing up had on me. I  began to just share with the men in the group my thoughts and insight about this, and I share also on the blog.(http://www.jennrene.com/2011/06/power-of-making-amends/)

As I spoke, I  shared  with the men and I saw something I never saw before in a large group setting. I saw men in front of me, with sincere looks of   concern, and   I heard  stories of where the neglect  we experienced by my father early on came from. I was able to see fathers holding on, being strong for daughters and telling stories of how they reach out to their daughters,  and will do even more, because of what they heard me tell about my relationship  with my father, when young. I heard fathers say they will continue to “cover” their daughters,  when there are no men in their lives, and I heard stories of how fathers love their daughters and want more, and will do more because  they desire  her to be happy in her future. I was also able to see on a larger scale the effects father hunger has on women. I had never really considered  this in-depth while at the same time mentoring fathers of this pain and seeing the expressions on their faces in having them know just how important it really is, helped me to  desire to DO MORE for women in terms of bringing families together. In this group, in particular,  I found a greater passion for the women I serve in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and I shared stories of these women who have  not had fathers in their lives — where they end up. Hopefully,  my  words helped someone in that group, and hopefully, my cause will be greater, because of my pain and my hurt when young. Hopefully, fathers will change their lives because of those words shared in the room, that day. When I observe my nephew’s future and  I  observe also the reconciliation between father and son, between my brother and his son, I  become emotional; yet grateful.  I also  I become confident and hopeful about my nephew’s future. Reggie ( Jr.)  will have  a more positive relationship with his children and his  wife, because  of what he has witnessed in terms of my family’s healing, and  for that, I am thankful. This didn’t come about easy,  it has  taken a  long time, and a lot of prayer, and a lot of communication and re-building — even when family members didn’t want to, and were hurt because of it. Yet when I look at the next generation, they will have HOPE, because we are taking  care of what we needed to , first.

So …build on…. fathers, build on… Selah.

-By JennRene Owens –  Blogger at Life Of JennRene JennRene ( a.k.a Jennifer Owens) is from Rochester, NY and currently resides in Tulsa Oklahoma.  Jennifer has been in the social work field for  over twenty three years and loves to help change minds and hearts for whole -hearted living.  Jennifer is  an  author and published  “Red Sea Situations: Finding Courage in  The Deep Seas of Life,”  last summer. Her blog Red Sea Courage can be found at http://www.redseacourage.wordpress.com and she has a compassion  to serve the underserved, the oppressed and those who long to find their voices.  JennRene also has a  gift for encouraging  people to  write books and is a life coach.   Once again, it’s all about finding voice

Advertisements